Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Red pen

So I picked up my red pen off the bedroom floor and began to write:

Forwards or Backwards

Sometimes we all get lost
stumbling through the dark
though it can depend on just how lost
if you can find that lightening spark.

Something that can bring you back
fighting to find your way
laying down an empty track
paved by a sunshine ray.

Someone who could hold your hand
or offer you a smile
just a quiet conversation
to amuse your mind a while.

Somewhere things are going well
or the opposite you'll find
just take a moment, time to dwell
it's a questioning of the mind.


Don't walk under that ladder

Tomorrow is my last exam, finally, and it got me thinking about superstition. Probably not the wisest think to be thinking about when my exam is on US and world politics, but there you go. 

I have this lucky purse, I don't remember where I got it from, but I have it and it's full of so called 'lucky' things. It contains a lucky black elephant (life size of course) given to me by the Mother who was given it her my Great Grandma which I keep in a little white pouch inside the purse, 3 squashed coins, a pair of clogs and a bone carved by my Grandad, a four leaf clover badge, a miniature pair of silver ballet shoes, a silver heart and four leaf clover and a blue turkish eye. 

So, to someone else they'd mean absolutely nothing, but to me they mean a lot. I can't help but think, that when I passed my driving test I had the purse on me in person but on the others I'd just left it in the boot. Coincidence, most likely, and that's what I'd rule it off as normally but it just seems that whenever I have it thinks go well. It's probably just a weird confidence boost or coincidence, but who knows. Over the years I have been inundated with 'good luck' charms, especially from the Mother who obviously thought I needed more luck in life, but these charms are the ones that have stuck.

I never care about walking under a ladder, or which way the black cat crossed the road. I don't believe in fate, although I'd like to and I don't believe I have a destiny (presuming it's a different thing?!). I think we make the decisions, consciously changing our path everyday through our actions. Although I've got to admit, I do believe in my lucky purse, even if it's just a bit. After all, I need all the luck I can get for these exams.

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Friday, 25 June 2010

Birds in walls

So this is going to be a random blog, full of well, random things from the week.

- I learnt what a samaritan does. Dan Rowling aka 'The Shrimpdude' (a fellow blogger) after reading a previous rambling blog of mine informed me that it is in fact someone that people call when they want to commit suicide. As not funny as the matter is, I can't help but smile at the fact the poster with the number on is pinned up at the BOTTOM of a bridge. It'd be a bit late then don't you think?

- I have something living in my walls. It's actually driving me crazy, last night I was shattered after work and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Instead there was a constant ruffling/munching/scratching kind of sound coming from my walls. The mother thinks it's a bird, I thought it might be a mouse. I don't really care. I just want it to be dead.

mmm, dead bird

- I like my job. I've been working there a few weeks now and I used to hate my old job. It makes a nice change to actually enjoy going to work, and I get paid. Always a bonus. I don't really like the old men saying 'what did you do to him you've knackered him out' about my best friend in an insinuating manner or the sort of crazy criminal guy who chats me up but I love Manny (one of the owners), the rest of the people I work with are cool and most of the locals amuse me. Good times really.

- I have made more colourful spider diagrams about American Politics than I ever want to make again in my life. They are currently swamping my room and I actually cannot wait to have my final exam on Wednesday 30th June and go out with my Boyfriend aka Bethy and drink, Scream and have an old school sleepover. Best sleepover ever was after Bethy's Rubik Cube party last year - now that was a funny.

Wow, we look young
'I wasn't even blonde then'

- I've had one of those weeks where I have been all over the place about pretty much everything and now I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel with Summer round the corner, but don't you just find that those last few steps are so hard to take? I'm making myself work as much as I can before I crash out on Wednesday but it just makes me so jealous of all the people who've finished already - damn you! Instead me and Bethy just sat musing on the park, watching planes and the moon get bigger and brighter whining about not being finished yet until we were joined by Park Chris and Coop guy, then we made a swift exit. Better than revision though. Oh and Bethy said she wants to 'you know be a police person' ie. a Police officer. So I'd watch out, because she'll arrest anyone for me as I've had her back in the past.

So yes, there's my five bullet points of random to round off my friday night. I am now going to engross myself in an episode of 'Teachers' which is currently amusing me, then just hope that whatever is in my walls withers and dies very soon.

So I typed in random, and well, this came up. Nice.

EURGH, this thing in my wall is driving me mental.

As I always share my poems ha, I just wrote this random one to my friend in a message, one of my masterpieces I think.

funnies funnies funnies for you
funnies to share like eating poo
or talking on parks with a muffin or 2
the park is fun they never knew :)

ALSO for anyone reading do SHUT and PUT rhyme? Feel free to comment your opinion, been having a debate about it tonight over la facebook. I told you this blog was random.

Trying to sleep but there is a sound,
a rustling, a scraching, forever around,
might be a bird, a rat or a fox?
might be a mouse or jack in his box.
talk to your wall as fran suggests,
or making a hole to let it free might be equally best,
just hope it sleeps and goes away
otherwise bethy'll be round to arrest it. HOOORAAAYYY :)

- By Bethy Would.

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Monday, 21 June 2010


So life is a bit manic at the moment, so for anyone who just knows what it's like to feel well a bit indescribable I thought I'd share a poem I wrote which tries to find the optimism in life.


A scattered heart sailed off to sea
to find a better part of me
Thoughts and dreams were left revealed
commotion should have stayed concealed
Once opened, it should have shut
clouds floating should stay put
Lingering trails across a mind
pieces left too hard to find
Optimism may lead me astray
but maybe 'It'll get better' starts today.


Sunday, 20 June 2010


So I didn't know that the World Cup was in South Africa and I have currently been disowned by the family. Then again, why would I? I've never shown any interest in football and I'm not about to start now. In fact, it's not that I just don't show an interest I'm pretty much against the whole 'sport'.

Why on earth should mindless idiots get paid the ridiculous amount they do for kicking a ball around for a bit? Their one job is to get the football in the net/defend their goal and they can't even do that properly. They are grossly overpaid, egotistical little boys who in this financial climate cannot possibly justify their wages and the amount of money clubs spend. The financial side of the game is just a joke, with clubs running up debts which they'll never get out of and the pathetic supporters just keep on funding it by paying the increasing fees. I also think they are terrible role models, the conduct many of them display on the pitch is pathetic and for the millions of young boys who admire them hardly a good example.

What a knob.

Then there are the 'wags'. Stupid, fake women whose only ambition in life was to marry a footballer to gain this title. Plastered all over the crappy glossy magazines which melt millions of brains with their pointless pages. How have these talented idiots earnt their fame?

Football. Another part of our societies culture which I refuse to buy into and for anyone who agrees with me, welcome to what seems to be the ever increasing minority of us. 

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Friday, 18 June 2010

Teenage Drama


So I was one of the kids who was completely taken in my Skins, admittedly the first two seasons were better than the next two but I've always been a fan - particularly of Kaya Scodelario, the only character to star in all four seasons. I can't really say why and I've never really been bothered by celebrities before but I found her interesting on and off screen.


She photographs beautifully and I was inspired by her style and individuality finding it hard to believe that she was bullied at school before she got the role as Effy Stonem in Skins. She is a year younger than me but courtesy of wikipedia I've learnt that she lived independently in London from 2008-2010 and now lives with her boyfriend and friends in Manchester making me jealous of her independence. I'll definitely miss her on the new series of Skins which I shall no doubt spend several mind numbing hours watching next year. Skins film is meant to be on the way too, it'll be interesting to see how that turns out.


Thursday, 17 June 2010

A repetition of one expression as part of another

I am now thankfully half way through my A level exams for this Summer and in 13 days can join all the lucky people who have already finished. The english exam was hard, but the history one was okay and now I never have to do those things again! The exams, particularly english, got me thinking about quotes and how such a brief stringing of words effect someone after hearing them.

There are quotes to make you laugh, to inspire you, enthuse you and inform you but it's what the quote means to you that makes it so important. I love quotes, always writing down quotes from amusing times with friends or something I have read in a book. My favourite extract to date I messaged to an old friend a while back so I thought that I'd share that today - *trawls through old Facebook messages*.

'Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.' 

'Sounds like a wrestling match, so which side wins?'

'Love wins. Love always wins.'

I really like this for 2 reasons, firstly, the way it personifies life as a pull on a rubber band a simple object for us to relate to and secondly, the optimistic and ever so true conclusion that 'Love always wins'.

It's taken from a book called 'Tuesdays with Morrie' by Mitch Albom. It's the kind of book that you read and view things differently, particularly as it is a true story. I'd highly recommend it. I was given it to read and from the moment I picked it up I didn't put it down until I finished a few hours later, completely taken in by the story. I have recently learned that it has been produced as a film, but I am skeptical about watching it, worried it might ruin the impact I felt when I read it. I keep meaning to buy some more of his books, so I shall make that a task for this Summer.

Mitch Albom

"Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it." 
--Morrie Schwartz" 

So on the subject of quotes, I googled Albom quotes and came cross the one above and it's just so true. There are so many things we're meant to do or feel like we have to be in the culture which swamps us and I constantly strive to try and be different and not worry about what people will think. I admire people who do this, go against the norm.

On a final note:
"Accept who you are; and revel in it."

Be who you want to be, and nothing less, otherwise you won't do yourself justice, even if that version of you won't please some people, because you're never going to make everyone happy.

I was on facebook earlier and noticed my friend had quoted something I'd said to her the other day on msn and put it in her little box :)

We only live once
Screw what people think 
May as well have fun
And do what I want
And care about the people
Worth caring about - JSK

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Monday, 14 June 2010

Unheavenly musing

So I was unfortunately awake at 3.14am this morning, okay, that sounds a bit pernickety with the preciseness of the time there but I heard what I thought was a moped on my street and thought hmm, odd time to be just riding about. So I looked out the window and saw the milkman. Then I thought, but I'm sure milk isn't supposed to be left out of the fridge for long? I can be pretty sure that that milk will have sat out there until at least 7. Screw milkmen, I don't want gone off milk. Maybe it doesn't, but I think I'll stick to milk from the Coop thanks.

Okay, so I wouldn't mind that milk man.

I had my General Studies exam this morning which wasn't actually as boring as I thought it might be. I had no idea what the format of the paper was going to be either, and I thought it was half multiple choice/half essay like last year... apparently not. Instead I was presented with 3 articles exploring modern surveillance in Britain for Section A and then had to answer 2 more essay questions from Section B and C. Strangely enough I'd been having a debate about the '1984' society which we seem to slowly progressing towards with Joe last week so that was easy to answer. 1984 is kind of like V for Vendetta, one of my favourite films. If you haven't watched it - it's a must. I then picked an essay about the beauty of the written word - easy for someone who loves writing and then there was a politics question about our current voting system - easy for a politics student. So I'm hoping for a good mark on that paper, to compensate for the crap one I'll get in the Science and Society paper - not my strong point.

Spent the rest of the day revising for my English exam tomorrow and wasting time on the phone - nothing new there. You see I'm a bit of a conversationist lover. I enjoy spending hours on the phone to amuse me in the early hours of the morning, chatting with people I'm close to about pointless rubbish to life changing scenarios. I find it hard to keep on top of my 600 minutes a month, but I'm getting better ha. I just find time passes so quickly when you're having good conversation and especially when I lack the ability to sleep, it's a nice way to kill some time.

I wrote another poem this evening:

Know the Unknown

Submerged painfully, unwontedly yet willingly
Grasping for air of thought barely left
Lifted but drowning, forced uncontrollably 
Brimming and bubbling in potion bereft.

For you have no hope nor permission of the will
No thought left untouched, a lavish escape
Cajoling, unrolling, a motion so still
Poison thy wine uncovered in grape.

Molten burns away from the chest
No cure, just release, we momentarily await
Withdrawing and draining left to digest
Who knows to what this could possibly equate.

A chastity thought unbound in the mind
A fate so cruel, sown to unwind
My unheavenly muse I'd long not to end
Meet and discard, I court none to contend.

Still musing on the title, so I shall probably add that later. Thoughts on it are appreciated as usual :) A bit of a ramble today but when exams are on my mind gets all jumbled. So, good bye for now.

- So it now has a title 'Know the Unknown' after a brief discussion with a friend, thanks boy.

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Sunday, 13 June 2010


I thought I'd share my favourite poem I've written today, so for anyone reading, enjoy.

She could not lock it away

There was a key she used to open a box
But then one day the key was lost
She wanted to lock it all away
To keep those troubles firmly at bay
High and low, near and far
Under her bed, in a glass jar
The key was no longer there to find
But then she realised she did not mind
Like a jack-in-a-box kept open wide
The box was open, left on its side
She realised then it wasn't quite right
But how she adored to fly its kite
In the winds of emotional despair
Pondering as they played with her hair
An unsettling feeling stumbled inside
In her conscience she did confide
The jack-in-a-box could not close
And something in her heart unfroze
But until that box contains that heart
She has to bare it being apart. 

I think it's probably my favourite because when it's read I just feel it flows so well and it's a poem that people can connect with. Admittedly a bit of a strange reference to jack-in-a-box but it has relevance to somebody out there. To be honest, I have no idea why they are called Jack-in-a-box's, hmm. If only my English Literature exam involved me writing my poems, I'm looking forward to getting the exam over with on Tuesday. Short blog, I think the lack of sleep is finally catching up with me. Hopefully sleep well tonight and get General Studies over with tomorrow morning, eurgh. 


Saturday, 12 June 2010

So, how are you?

So, for saying it's Study Leave last night was a funny. I know that's not gramatically correct - but it's me and Bethy's label for anything amusing:

eg. 'We went to the pub last night... ahhh it was a funny'

So yeah, that's what we did last night, went t'pub. Laughed, a lot. Found stupid things funny like:

*Bethy trips up*

'Don't you think it's really funny that we have hands and feet'

'Why Bethy?'


'What was that face for?'

'There's a really fit guy about to walk in'

'Actually though?'


'What like that time you told me the guy in the red T shirt was hot?'

*Man walks in...*

Okay, so maybe he wasn't as god damn sexy as that guy there but it still amused us. Along with someone from our old school came over, to say hello to another friend who'd joined us by this point. He was clearly pretty drunk and went:

'How are you?'

'I'm fine thanks, you?'

'Yeah good..... How are you?'

We then proceeded to ask each other for the next 10 minutes, how are you? Whilst this guy and our friend continued their conversation. Now that. Is maturity for you. Then to our greater amusement, his repetition continued.

'Did you guys go to that Ecclesbourne reunion thing at Nono 8?'

'Yeah, it was the Leavers after ball'

'Yeah, because I went in and everyone was like sat down'


'So did you guys go that the reunion thing for Ecclesbourne'


and on it went haha

Drunk people are funny. It was getting to last orders, and they wouldn't serve him at the bar because he was too drunk. It then amused us to go on to tell him it'd be a good idea to say 'I'm a pirate, so you've got to serve me' jeering him on telling him to 'pull the pirate card' until he did ha. Not quite sure what we were on about, but it was amusing. Pirate's are pretty cool actually and surprisingly democratic. For some reason I was having an msn conversation about them the other day with a friend and learnt from the one and only god like wikipedia that:

'The first record of such a government aboard a pirate sloop dates to the 1600s. Both the captain and the quartermaster were elected by the crew; they, in turn, appointed the other ship's officers. The captain of a pirate ship was often a fierce fighter in whom the men could place their trust, rather than a more traditional authority figure sanctioned by an elite. However, when not in battle, the quartermaster usually had the real authority. Many groups of pirates shared in whatever they seized; pirates injured in battle might be afforded special compensation similar to medical or disability insurance.'

It looks to me like the pirates have it sorted. I know I would not be complaining if the guy pirates looked like Johnny Depp. Furthermore, Facebook have cottoned on too! If you hadn't noticed you can set your language to 'English Pirate'. I'm no longer listed as 'Single' I become 'Sailin' Solo' (Yeah we know where Jason Derulo stole his song idea from now) and you don't 'write on walls' you 'scrawl on planks'. Pretty amusing actually, but then slightly confusing ha, so I changed it back. But if Facebook is up to trying Pirate then why not? Everyone will succumb to Facebook in the end anyway, scary, but true. But seriously, if Pirates understood and used democracy in the 1600's in a peaceful(ish) fashion I think they're pretty good role models - apart from the whole stealing and killing thing. I wouldn't mind being a pirate myself, especially being into politics and democracy and all that. Maybe I'll stop supporting the Liberal Democrat's and start up my own Pirate Party. Not entirely sure how I could make policies relevant on land, but I'm sure I could have a stab at it, I'm already bored of Cleggron and the Condem party.

Vote for us, bringing your Pirate needs to the everyday house hold.
We even figured out a better compensation policy than you in the 1600's.
And, we'll give you a free eye patch.
(the free stuff usually works)


Nothing like a good old bit of alliteration.
I can see it now :')

I've got my second shift at the pub tonight, unfortunately not a pirate yet. Although,  hopefully they'll be some amusing stories to tell, even though they usually sound crap when they're retold. I always envied people who could capture a groups attention with a good story. The pub does make for amusement though and if I fail my A levels, I think I'll become a pirate.

'Life’s pretty good, and why wouldn’t it be? I’m a pirate, after all.' 
- Johnny Depp

Random point. Everyone seems to be up really early today. I've already had some epic messages on facebook, but seen as half of this blog was about drunken ramble I thought this quote was pretty appropritate:

'and you should be proud to know that your drunken talks do good things' - Alis Tougher.

You know what, I am proud ha.

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Two L's and One T

Okay, so it's 2.15 in the morning and I can't sleep, again. What a surprise ha. So as I sit here with music blaring from my headphones and texting Elliot, my brother who is about 5 metres away from me I thought I'd take this time to say how important siblings are.

Hats in Crete ha

Anyone who has a brother or sister, do you call them your friend or are they just someone you live in the house with? Barely acknowledging their presence? Although he's nearly 5 years younger than me, he's one of my best friends. He makes me laugh, I really care about him, I like to know what's going on in his life, chat to him about problems, just generally get on with him really well. We're really similar, but completely different at the same time.

Cousins wedding. One of our most sensible photos I think.

One of the main reasons I'm glad I left my old school is because being at boarding school I didn't get to really share my life with my brother and now I do. So if you don't make time for your brother's or sister's then you should because you might just be surprised at how well you get on with them. People are always surprised at how well we get on, but to me, it makes perfect sense. 

Young much :')

I'd actually hate to be an only child. I mean who else would laugh with me when Dad comes out with stupid things like 'go mango yourself up a tree'? Who else would come out with 'Can you get aids in this country' at the dinner table? Who else would bully me and tell me I'm a slut for working at our local pub? Who else would cruise with me when I just passed my test? Who else would address me as bamf? No one that's who. So you best not disappear crutch boy. I'm going to be gutted when I can't call you that anymore, even though I will be happy when you can walk again properly.

He clearly enjoyed me being drunk on my 18th. 
For some reason I was pretending to shower him, or something.
I promise I'm not incest ha.

Brotherly/Sisterly love. Where would I be without it :) Certainly more bored than I am right now ha. He might play some crap tunes, he might think he's a badman... when he's just not, play COD far too much and bully me about how small I am, but I wouldn't change him. So.... little big brother, I'm taking this time to say how much I appreciate you cripple boy :') Bamf for life as you say.

Little and large. Obviously I'm the big one.

The Spencer-Keyse Kids.

'A brother is a friend given by nature' -  Legouve.

So other than your name reminding me of Legoland, and the days of building Lego zoos in the lounge, I agree with you. 
My brother is my friend, my friend is my brother. 


Thursday, 10 June 2010

It Goes On and On

The Avett Brothers. 

New found love <3 Okay, so I admit they look a little strange, well a lot strange but Alis gave me their CD a few days ago and today I remembered and took a listen and the album is actually great, favourite has to be 'It Goes On and On'. One of those kind of songs which you can relate to, doesn't really match current circumstances but I like it when you can empathise with lyrics. So yeah, they class themselves as 'Rock' - I really wouldn't. They're sort of similar to Mumford & Sons, so if you're into that kind of music, take a listen. 

Other than ogling the sexy Avett Brothers, I've just been attempting History revision today. Nothing all that exciting. I did watch the Glee finale though, I actually love it, I'm such a sucker for things like that, and the fact I'm actually sad the season is over. Glee is another one of my 'puts me in a good mood things' and it's a programme I always will love. I used to go to Elmhurst School for Dance, this performance school, in the hope of being a ballerina one day. Sounds like a childish dream right? But I worked hard, danced all the time, loved it, managed to get a scholarship so I could afford to go and boarded from Year 7-10. I then made the mammoth decision to leave and go to 'normal' school. It was a massive change, and there were a number of reasons as to why I left, but I can't say I regret it, especially because I can now tuck into chocolate muffins whenever I wish. But anyway, probably one of the reasons I'm such a sucker for things like Glee and High School Musical is because I know the buzz you get from performing and I'm really hoping when I get to Uni I can get involved in more stuff like that again, not on a professional level like before, but for fun, because to be honest, I miss it. I did House plays when I moved to 'normal' school and went on to be a House captain and be involved in Drama productions which filled the hole for a bit, but I haven't done anything in a while and I can't wait to again. So yeah, maybe create a Glee club ha, but I am an awful singer. I think I'm going to miss Brittnay's quotes the most, they actually make my day!

"Sometimes I forget my middle name"
"Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks"
 "There was a mouse in mine"

In other random crap I did today, I was checking out the new Guardian University Guide and the university I'm off to next year is now 3rd in the country which impressed me - oh, and I really like the new Hovis advert ha. The song on it is one of my favourites which just makes it to be honest.

I'd quite like it to be summer already now please and the rubbish weather today makes me want to be somewhere without rain! Dublin - the new addition to my Summer ventures has just made me even more restless for having no exams! Oh and I wrote another poem today as well, so for anyone who's reading, I hope you like it and goodbye for now.


To make your life eventful is the only way to live
To show how much you care, remembering to give.
Pushing the boundaries to see how far we'll go
Exploration, a sub category, urging you to know.
The singing in the morning before you've gone to bed
Gaming and believing, messing with the head.
Learning when to stop. Time to carry on
Deciding what to pick when you know the answers 'none'.
A massive contradiction or making perfect sense
The numbness that you feel perched on a picket fence,
However and whatever - just make it all immense
Just change it from the future, back to present tense.

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Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Just a good mood

I actually love it when you're in a good mood. Nearly all of study leave, despite the fact that I've got exams and revision and such, my mood has improved vastly, but tonight I actually can't stop smiling.

After tea I went for a walk with Bethy, my closest girlfriend, well actually we call each other boyfriends, we're strange, but anyway. We ended up having a discussion about mental people, which has become a frequent topic of conversation. Basically, we've found that people of the opposite sex seem to be doing well, mental things, and we're always like ha they're weird and whatever and go on about how they should call the Samaritans. I'm sure anyone reading this has no idea what I'm on about, it being one of those things that only you and your best friend can understand, but I am coming to a point. Is there anyone that makes you do things you really wouldn't with anyone else? For example - text them a few times even without reply. Well, our point was, that if anyone does it to us we're like god they're weird or whatever kind of dismissive tone we use but then if we do it it's like no no it's completely different. It's weird how people affect us though. On the subject of Samaritans, there is a poster up near where we live which we've walked past saying call if you need help. I actually have no idea what they do and who would call them, so if anyone has any ideas on enlightening me on that - feel free! After our usual weird 'only we get it' kind of conversation we went on to talk about going to Ireland in the Summer. I went to Dublin a few years ago with my family and loved it and Bethy has wanted to go for a while. The people are just so friendly, like, if you were lost in London being all touristy with your map out no one would stop to ask if you needed directions, but in Ireland anyone is willing to help, it's amazing. I just really like the atmosphere there. Anyway, my Mum (clearly bored) text me whilst I was out telling me she'd found a hotel with flights near the centre of Dublin for £98, so we're booking that tomorrow night which is exciting 'whoa boyfriend run away times!!' as Bethy put it. But yeah, that put me in a really good mood because now I have a job I can afford to do things like that.

Then, being more productive than I, Bethy went back home and did some revision and I decided to go visit Joe who is like a few minute walk away from me which is always convenient when your best friends live near by so we went for a walk - surprise, surprise - and then went back to his to watch a film because it looked like it might rain or 'drain and rizzle' as I stupidly came out with. We started watching 'Pink Panther 2' at his choice... which... was crap so we put on 'What Happens in Vegas' predictable but always good. I remember seeing it at the cinema when it first came out and loving it so I was happy to watch it again. I usually get bored when I watch something for the 2nd time but I really didn't and it put me in a proper feel good mood. That's the thing about good books and films, you can be feeling like crap and you watch or read something feel good and it cheers you up instantly. So yeah, hence the really good mood. Okay, a little envious that I'm not all loved up and having some kind of happy ending like the fictional, perfect looking characters, but nevertheless, happy. Oh, and also made me want to visit Vegas one day, a lot.

Random thought also, anyone noticed how the supermarkets are now selling double strength squash now. I'm sorry, but if they had just done this in the first place then they could have stopped forking out for endless squash bottles which barely last the day in a family house hold. I just don't get why they didn't do it in the first place. I was thinking about it today when I was making my brother and I some squash, weird I know, but it's a fair point ha.

So yeah, actually getting revision done, walking, Dublin and What Happens in Vegas pretty much made my day. If only I was rich enough to upgrade to Vegas instead of Dublin!

Mmm Aston Kutcher.

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I've spent 3 hours today revising for my English Literature exam next Tuesday and I am now officially bored. You would think that because I enjoy writing, reading and poetry that English would be a subject of great enjoyment for me. Wrong. It's really not. I have made myself sit down and learn the comparisons between 'Paradise Lost' - the famous epic poem written in 1667 by John Milton which you will no doubt have heard of and should never bother reading and 'Duchess of Malfi' - a tragic play written by John Webster performed in 1613 resulting in uninteresting, pointless deaths. I suppose if you're interested in English then it might be enjoyable studying Satan's leadership qualities and comparing favourably or disdainfully in comparison to the incestuous Ferdinand. For me, history and politics - my other subjects I'm studying at A level will always be more interesting.

Nevertheless, although it feels like 3 hours wasted as it bored me out of my skull, it has made me feel more confident about the exam and hopefully not 3 hours which could have been spent more productively as I constantly keep reminding myself that after the 15th June I NEVER have to do English Literature again.

So time, how we choose to spend it makes us the people we are today so it must be spent wisely. Time is something which I'm sure preoccupies millions of peoples thoughts, I think I've heard countlessly 'If only I had the time I'd....' and it's true, we obsess about what we'd do if we had the time to do it. Who says we can't though? We can make time if really want something surely? We make time to shower, eat, drink so why can't we make time for things that aren't just necessities. Obviously we're restrained by school, jobs, relationships - I'm not naive enough to say that compromises shouldn't be considered and we should be selfish, only do as we please because then the world would wreak with havoc but people should make more time for themselves.

We live in a society driven by power, ambition, greed. People constantly strive to better themselves in the work place or school - forgetting other things which they'd perhaps like to do more, spending their time unwisely. Although it might sound completely cliché  - time is precious and after all they are called cliché's for a reasons. I wrote a poem a while back when I think I was obsessing over time - so here it is.

Seconds Left

Back and forth, to and fro
Storm, rainbow, sunshine row
Float a lullaby down the stream
Close your eyes forget to dream
Drowsy syrup flies you away
But your deepest desires are here to stay
Drama in paradise has shattered ways
Struggle away from sulphur haze
Energize fears through creamy skies
Just watch the clock, time flies.

Lyrics are always conveying thoughts about time, along with the typical heartbroken writings of many authors, or these days just general club crap - 'THE CLUB IS ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC' - Really? No shit. I thought a club was meant to be silent. So whilst I try and block out this booming sound from my brother's room (who I am currently taking pity on due to his recent operation) I remember lyrics which actually have some sort of meaning to them from a song I love.

Find the Time
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly

We make lists 
We make plans
To write books
To form bands
Or to move to Kreuzburg
In the middle of the night

So pack your bags 
Let's take control
You and me
Let's go
The next time you're lonely
Or the next time that you're free

So why?
So why?
So why?
If we can make the plans 
Can we just not find the time?

It's completely true, and we're all guilty of it. So I say, if you want to do something badly enough, you should find the time, because you're not always going to have it at your dispense. We can't go back in time as we so often wish, don't own a Bernard's watch to use at our convenience or whatever strange contraption that Adam Sandler uses in 'Click'. We just have the future, so let's grasp it while we can and make the most of it. Ironically the Mastercard adverts got it right, time is 'Priceless'.

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Tuesday, 8 June 2010


So recently I have been doing a lot of walking. I have always liked to walk actually, and I am the only one in my household that ever takes my dog a walk. Since I have left school I have made it a habit to walk nearly everyday which I have generally stuck to. I was flicking through my diary earlier and since the 22nd May (which is when school ended) I have been on a walk with people 9 times. It's a bit strange I suppose to say, I went on a walk today, because we walk everywhere, but a specific walk for no other purpose than to well... walk really is the best type.

I suppose I am really lucky because the village I live in is a lovely place to walk. Last summer I spent so much time in a field named by us villagers as 'the top of the world' contemplating and I never got bored, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. I have a picture which I shall post below, but you can never quite appreciate the beauty of a view until you've clambered up the hill to get there and seen it with your own eyes.

It's a rubbish picture to be honest, I took it on my previous phone and only looking at it now do I realise how crap it actually looks on here, but it is one of my favourite places in the world and I only have to walk 5 minutes from my house to get there. 

Another place which I absolutely love is Peckwash, a secluded spot in between 2 villages, about 20 minutes walk away from me. Last summer I spent a lot of time there, mucking about with friends, paddling in the river, chatting, soaking up the occasional english rays. It's just so pretty.

Slightly better picture, but still can't quite appreciate how lovely it is unless you're there.

The other 2 are photos of me and friends last Summer, ahhh good times.

Tonight I went for a walk with an old friend in another village near me, a 5 minute drive away. I honestly think it's one of the best ways to spend time with someone, just walking, chatting, appreciating the space. It sounds like I am a woman on the brink of retirement but I'm honestly not! I just think walking is great. I actually managed to pass my driving test in April this year - everyone knows people who pass 4th time are the best drivers (!) - but I still haven't succumbed to driving everywhere, and to be honest, I don't think I will. Walking the dog after school was one of the only ways I stayed sane, having that time on my own to think and just be out of the house and get some exercise at the same time. Walking with friends is equally nice, especially when they appreciate the surroundings. If more people made time to walk, I'm sure people would be more at peace ha, might seem a little crazy but it certainly works for me. It was the perfect end to a less productive day, only managing bits of revision and being visited by a friend who delivered me a new top and a CD, I love inheriting her clothes. It's pretty sad actually, she's almost 2 years younger, but I am still smaller than her so I get her hand me downs! They are lovely clothes though so I shan't complain.

Walking has also inspired me to write some of my poems, in particular, one I named 'Exploration under Aryan's Belt' after a midnight walk with a friend where we stared into the sky, loosing our thoughts among the stars. So here it is.

Exploration Under Aryan's Belt

Silence, found within a metaphor
Words on a page, a wing catching flight
through floundering thoughts in restless night
When you stand back to admire the scene,
it's nothing more than a libertine dream.
Silence, must be a sound to find
Hear it only in my mind.
When all is quiet, but silent not
far away a painful show,
a heavenly song thanks to a swallows beak
crumbling toffee in a child's cheek
This simple idea makes little sense
silence never entered out presence
Past, future, endless time
this tranquil theme is just a rhyme.
Search for that inquisitive light
yet silence won't be found in sight
If it is to be discovered at all, 
maybe within a clouded fall,
or blinded by the garish sun,
just journey to where the world begun.

I remember now reading it again, what we had been talking about as we came up to the park after our walk. How it is actually never silent. So that is what is explored in this poem really, amongst other things.

Walking. Do it. Make time for it. It's not just a simple movement to get us from A to B, hopefully one day I shall travel, walk and experience places even more breathtaking than the beauty I find so close to home. 

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